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Saturday, October 11, 2008
Audiocast - On the Road with Teen Author
Categories: Education, Family, MGuhlin.net, Writing
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I've been putting off posting this recording on the web, but I thought I'd share this interview with a teen author, my daughter. She shares a few insights into her fiction composition process, where she gets ideas for her stories, and more. Have a listen! And, if so inclined, buy her book!
Get your exclusive copy of this author's book, Alone in the Middle.
Invest in the future of America! Buy your copy--print or download--now!
or, get a t-shirt!
buy unique gifts at Zazzle
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Get Your Exclusive Copy - Alone in the Middle
Categories: Books_Research, Education, Family, MGuhlin.net
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Get your exclusive copy of my daughter's book, Alone in the Middle. I'm the proud father of a self-published teenager publishing her first fiction novel! For the price of lunch, you can buy a copy of her book (print or download) and show her the value of the Long Tail (I gave her the whole spiel of if only 1 in 500 of the millions potentially reading buy your book....).
Will you help me out? Link to this blog entry--and her book--from your blog!
Here is the description:
Alone In the Middle is a truly engaging book about the ups and downs of being a teenager. The main character, Lisa Jenkins is a teen who has to deal with two perfect older sisters, and annoying younger brothers. Laugh out loud when Lisa and her two best friends scheme their ways into the inner circle, let your heart pound when Lisa meets the right guy, and exclaim to your friends over one of the most interesting books you will ever read.
Invest in the future of America! Buy your copy--print or download--now!
or, get a t-shirt!
buy unique gifts at Zazzle
Categories: Books_Research, Education, Family, MGuhlin.net
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Monday, September 08, 2008
Settling Disputes
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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I loved this post about Rock-Paper-Scissors (RPS) way to settle discussions (try this out).
However, my family has come to prefer the flip of a coin (quarter) to RPS. Too many charges of cheating are possible with RPS when you have a 9 year old and a 14 year old vying for commons resources. But, a flip of a coin is "random" (no they don't know) and it's so easy to settle a dispute.
I usually prefer tails over heads. Go figure. Heads=Yes or First choice, while tails is NO or Second Choice.
Who will walk the dog, my children or I? Flip the coin. Tails
Will I be a whistleblower? Flip the coin. Heads
Will I update my blog tonight or go watch tv? Flip a coin. Heads.
Will I support McCain or Obama? Flip a coin. Tails.
What's amazing is that I flipped a quarter for the questions above, and flipped the coin using Random.org. They matched except for the last one (I went with the 2nd response since I did 2 out of 3 for that one).
What's the point of all this? Well, not much. But I didn't know about either the online RPS or the Random.org Coin Flipper!
Will the reader go try one of these out?
If leadership were only as easy.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Monday, August 25, 2008
Jon Wayne Air Conditioning Repair
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net, Press_Releases
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This past week, I shared about how miserable life was with a broken air conditioner. I promised to put the video up and then lost it (you have no idea how many video files are floating on my computer that I've recorded!). Anyways, here's a short chat with Chris from Jon Wayne Air-Conditioning Repair!
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, August 24, 2008
iTexas Realty - People you can trust
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net, Press_Releases
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When my father passed away, my Mom and I turned to a reputed, well-known realtor for help. They sent someone out. The guy looked at the house, said, "Yes, we can sell it as is." And, then over the next few months, as we grieved my father's passing, we left the job in the hands of this person to get it done. I think, a century could have passed before anything happened.
In time, as we both came to an awareness that this was NOT going to happen in one or 21 centuries with this person and realty company, no matter how nice the yellow post stuck uprightly in the front lawn, we switched to someone recommended by our "network." That second realty company showed up and got the job done.
This is an endorsement of a local realtor, and I hope those of you who can will take advantage. I gain nothing by this endorsement, only that I'm grateful for people who made every effort to get the job done.
Call Sara Woolford at (210) 823-5501 or Steve Golson at (210) 488-4826 or send an e-mail.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Change
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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"When your mom and I were kids," I told mine, "we didn't have air conditioning." But having suffered without air conditioning so long ago didn't prepare us for not having it this past week.
And, it's been a long week. Sunday through Wednesday, no air-conditioning. I spent most of my evenings trying to stay cool downstairs with the family, rediscovering the well air-conditioned library, visiting relatives, with absolutely no desire to write. On Wednesday night, though, the A/C was fixed and life changed.
I'm reminded of the rabbi in the Jewish parable that laments when rich men try to eat sparingly, thinking that their self-imposed privation joins them in solidarity with the poor. Yet, no matter how much they suffer, the plight of the poor doesn't change because little action is taken. Instead, the Jewish rabbi wisely encouraged the rich to enjoy their meals, to partake of the delicious food and drink their gold and silver buy. The poor would benefit more from the crumbs from the rich man's table, the guilt that dug into his ribs to engage in charitable acts. It reminds me a conversation edubloggers had a few months ago, wondering if just writing about reforming education was enough.
Though I sympathized with people without air, I never paid a single cent more to the electric company to off-set the cost of those who couldn't pay their bills. Now, I find myself reconsidering that story....
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Suffering
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Well, I hate to complain, but our air conditioner is still out. The repairman is due today but it's really put a strain on blogging...too hot to do anything but recline in front of a fan and wish for the sweet solace of sleep. I have no doubt that I'll be broke from now through Xmas after the repair-person leaves. Sigh.
Ok, I feel better already. Blogging does have therapeutic effects!
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, May 18, 2008
We've Been Scanned, Captain.
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Every time my 3 year old, $80 HP Scanjet starts up, it sounds like...I don't know what. I'd say it sounds like an airplane about to take off, but that isn't quite right. It's a low-pitched hum that slowly escalates as it moves underneath the paper or photo I happen to be scanning. I can honestly say, I've wondered what it would be like to be scanned like that. Certainly, my imagination has been fueled by Star Trek TV series--"We're being scanned, Captain" reports Commander Spock as a white beam flashes through the Bridge.
As I watched my Mom be scanned in a Magnetic Resonance Imaging chamber, twice this weekend, I had real life sounds and a picture of what "being scanned" really looks like. It was amazing as the kindly technicians at a local hospital looked at my Mom's brains, seemingly from the inside out. Of course, the reason for an MRI, even two, isn't exploration of unknown space, a prelude to dealing with other space-faring races. The reality is a bit...noisy, frightening, and feels not at all like exploration.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Potpourri Post
Categories: Education, Family, GNU/Linux, MGuhlin.net, TechTips
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It was a tough, grueling week these past few days. Of course, it's nothing compared to the hard work of many out there, but running short on sleep has kept me from being as learning as much as I'd like. However, it's also been a week of pride for my family and I'm delighted to share that my daughter was accepted--and registered this week one evening which cut directly into blogging time--to a nifty high school where every course is "gifted and talented," with the exception of Physical Education (which, in my family isn't that bad).
"Dad," she stared up at me while sitting at the counselor's table, "I think I got Mom's brains."
You know, I'm not going to argue that. I am, after all, a well-trained husband.
;->
I honestly wish I could remember the other exciting things that happened this week, but it's a blur. Maybe a quick look at Delicious links will remind me...just some short points.
-
Over 40 Passion
Quilt Meme participants, awesome! I'm overwhelmed that so many
folks are willing to share their passions about education. I'm going
to compile the key words and images when I have a free moment--into
a google preso...no time like the present.
- Love this quote at Ric's blog, "Liberty without learning is always in peril; learning without liberty is always in vain." - John F. Kennedy
- Online Predators and their victims: Myths, realities, implications for preventions and treatment
-
Two free CD burner programs for Windows:
CD BurnerX
Infrarecorder
Categories: Education, Family, GNU/Linux, MGuhlin.net, TechTips
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Sazon - Sabor de Nuestra Familia - Flavor of Our Family
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net, Texas
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"Sazon," I'm told, "is a type of seasoned salt found in Spanish and Mexican markets. The seasoning is used on meats, fish, poultry and even to flavor soups and stews." It was a word I'd never encountered, but one I would come to appreciate today. This blog entry features a video interview and a few photos of the Mexican Cafe. In the interests of full disclosure, I gain nothing (no free lunch, in other words) from sharing this information with you except the joy of a quality meal with just the right amount of seasoning. For this cafe, Sazon is "El Sabor de Nuestra Familia," or in English, the flavor of our family.
My wife called me up this morning, amidst the Colorado Learning 2.0 Conference that Karl Fisch let us know about with his tweet this AM, tearing me away from a uStream of the whole online Learning 2.0 conference and Claudia's notes, to go have lunch at a new Mexican Cafe. Since I'd skipped breakfast to work on a few projects, as well as tune in to the Colorado Learning 2.0 Conference, I was famished.
As I found my way across town from my home in San Antonio, taking Interstate 35-South to 151 West to Sea World, taking a left at Potranco Road, I started to wonder if any lunch was worth the trip. Yet, with my wife and daughter at the restaurant, the promise of a Mexican food lunch was too much to resist.
Having just opened last Thursday, Sazon's (accent over the "o") staff greeted my arrival with welcoming smiles, as my wife stood up to wave me over to a table set in the center of a nice arranged, decorated cafe. My wife's fellow 4th grade teacher is pictured below with her son, husband to her right. I later interviewed Rafael (second from the left).
From Left to Right: Fernando, Rafael, Javier, Monica, son of
Javier and Monica
You can view this video interview (recorded with a 2-gig FLIP camera, uploaded to YouTube after being converted to FLV format with TechSpansion's Visual Hub) with Rafael:
The artwork--by Carolina G. Flores, a local San Antonio artist--on the walls immediately captivated me, especially this piece featuring the ArchAngel Michael's battle with the Devil (right-click to view at larger size):
The assortment of beautiful, evocative images with the decor of the restaurant, the Mexican music playing the background, the openness all came together to provide for a powerful ambience. The food was fantastic, and I had Lydia's Envueltos de Pollo, which came with rice and refried beans (doesn't all Mexican food come with that?). Oh, it was fantastic food and there was a subtlety to the taste that I don't usually encounter in the rough fare that is Mexican food...usually, only Thai food comes close.
Most meals were under $8. There was a nice assortment of Breakfast plates, including the traditional weekend barbacoa variants, lunch plates such as Carne Guisada, Steak Ranchero Plate, Gordita Plate, Enchiladas Verdes de Pollo, Javi's Special (2 cheese enchiladas w/ carne guisada or beef or chicken fajita), and a few specialty plates. Since I was eating at a new cafe, I decided to try one of the specialty plates:
- Lydia's Envueltos de Pollo (3 soft chicken tacos topped with ranchero sauces, rice, charro beans, and salad)
- Tacos Callejeros
- Ferna's Charro Beans
- Pechuga a la Plancha (Chicken breast topped with monterrey jack cheese and cilantro cream sauce, rice, charro beans and salad)
Wow, the taste was phenomenal. It was the perfect lunch at the end of a long morning of working online, and I inhaled it quickly as I admired the artwork hanging on the walls. If you're in the area, I encourage you to give it a try.
Sazon's Mexican Cafe is located at
9822 Potranco Rd, Suite 110
San
Antonio, Tx 78251
It is open from Monday through Saturday, 6:30 AM - 2:30 PM. To Go Orders can be placed at 210-256-1500.
More artwork displayed at Sazon's from San Antonio artist, Carolina:
(right click to view image at higher resolution and larger size)
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
I hate TV
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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I hate television with a passion. I woke up one morning and realized the utter contempt I have for it. It's happened over time, this mounting frustration with television and it's commercials after 2 minutes of content. I can't sit in front of a television anymore and pity those in my home who DO spend time. My son does not watch television, either. Neither one of us can stand the passivity of sitting and watching only when computing/gaming is an option.
Of course, I'm sure some would say the same about running around outside and gaming/computing.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Build-A-Bear!
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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On my daughter's 14th birthday, she and two friends visited the Build-A-Bear Workshop. You can build your own stuffed bear there, and they LOVED it. While I still don't get the attraction girls have for stuffed bears, I'm smart enough--barely--to indulge. However, since I missed that particular workshop (mother-daughter outing), we took my son. Santa Claus left some Build-A-Bear Workshop gift cards in his stocking. You can view the photo slideshow--powered by PicasaWeb--below.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Digital Clutter
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net, TechTips
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Over the last year, I've accumulated a ton of images, audio files, and assorted documents related to the speaking and workshop facilitation done. But also, a few other files that have gotten mixed in together. I'm amazed at the quantity and variety of this; certainly, not all of it is reflected in podcasts and blog entries, but it might be someday. So, I'm not sure how much to keep, how much to discard at this point.
There are also some treasures. Mixed in the middle of a few hundred photos, I found a 2 year old recording I made of my Dad during a Doctor's visit. The visit was at mid-point in his chemo-therapy, and I'm amazed at how well the Army Doctor managed to keep hope alive for all of us without promising anything. As I listened to this 20 minutes of Dad--what a precious sound that is--ask questions about his cancer survivability, his wry sense of humor showing through, I'm struck by how prophetic my dad's words, "I'll be here for another 3 months."
As I listen to this bitter-sweet memory, I wonder if I should give it to my Mom. Certainly, the effect it will have is tears, but the experience of hearing his voice takes me back to this turbulent time. "I'm a dead man, I'm just postponing this crap. I was in a Mercedes car, but now I'm in a Chevrolet...in the meantime, keep playing bingo." <chuckle>. My dad's humor, gallow's humor then as now, brings a smile to my face. Preserving this audio for both myself, my mom, and family is critical. What other recordings might I have lying un-edited in the catch-all folders I set-up months ago, if not years ago?
I'll continue to search the audio files archived on my external USB drive. Perhaps, I'll stumble upon a few more gems.
Part of my process for handling the digital clutter includes the following:
- Sorting data into folders, personal/work.
- Zipping up the files that won't be needed anytime soon...usually work files from more than two years ago. It's been great to move all my work stuff into the wiki so that it "stays alive" and doesn't have to be archived on my computer. On the Mac, the hands-down best tool to use is Springy for zipping files. Forget everything I've written about before, Springy is it. If on Windows/Linux, you have plenty of other choices you can use. 7zip or IZarc on Windows, or ARK on Linux.
- Encrypting confidential data into smallest, most discrete unit. To do the encryption, I boot into GNU/Linux and use KGPG (GNU/Linux only). Of the 3 platforms, it remains the best free tool to use, although you can use WinGPG or MacGPG. Of course, if you have $50 or so, you can buy PGP. Any confidential data I didn't need--unnecessarily shared confidential stuff--I shredded (secure wipe).
- Moving zipped "old" files to DVD or CD, depending on size.
- Backing up the backup to another external USB drive for a 2nd backup. Since most of this data doesn't change much--I keep changeable stuff encrypted and online somewhere--I feel comfortable making this backup once a month. Anything more changeable goes on my USB sticks.
- Once everything is set, erase the free space on all the hard drives, computer and external USB drives. I tend to use Eraser on the Windows side, a series of script files on Linux, and, on Mac, I'd use ShredItX if I had it available (on my list of programs to buy). Instead, I use another tool that I hope gets the job done.
That's pretty much the process I follow. One of the big eye-openers for me was how much confidential data I had unencrypted in my backups. Now that I've gone through every file on my backup, I'm pretty comfortable that if for some reason, my data drives should be stolen/lost, I'll be OK in terms of confidential data.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Thursday, November 22, 2007
No more
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Ok, two turkey dinners in one day is overkill and I'm going to have to engage in some heavy duty exercise for a few weeks to knock off the weight. Whomever came up with this idea that we have to visit our respective families Thanksgiving celebrations, gorge ourselves, then go to another dinner...well, forget that!
I do have to confess that the food was great, seeing family again wonderful, and washing dishes a relief after all the festivities. But the best part is finally plopping down on the couch for a well-deserved nap.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Julin
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net, Texas
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My eldest brother--James Guhlin Jr.--has a wonderfully talented daughter who goes by the name of "Julin." This is a shameless plug for her recently released album. Julin shares the following quote...
A writer and singer since the age of eight, Julin feels as though she has the opportunity to express the different emotions and life experiences. Julin the entity is a music reality that incorporates an emotion that all people can relate..."Being honest with yourself and expressing that is challenging. But the journey takes you to a place beyond what words can describe. Hopefully, the music will help in taking you there too."-Julin
I like #9, Stars Collide. Julin even has a MySpace page. As exciting as it is to have a celebrity like Julin in the family, I'm hesitant to share this with my daughter. . .I know we would never allow her to dress like that. However, I do respect my eldest brother for having the courage to support Julin has she jumps out there and embraces her dreams. As a father, I obviously have a lot of learning to do <smile>.
Best wishes to Julin! Listen to her music at her MySpace page...I like the "Nothing Means Every..." song the most. What's your pick?
UPDATE: Julin also has a podcast you can listen to. More on the podcast appears below:
This week's featured artist is smoky pop singer and actress Julin, whose
solo disc Transitions was produced and co-written by Phuz guitarist Ken
Sarmiento.
I talk to both of them about their musical meeting and how a one-song
project blossomed into a full-length record. It's a moody mix of pop
melodies, rock flourishes and lounge grooves.
Julin also scored a sizable role in the Texas-shot flick Spirit Camp,
described as "Friday the 13th meets Bring it On." She plays impossibly mean
cheerleader Rachel.
But even with her resume rapidly expanding, don't expect Julin to make the
transition to ex-local anytime soon.
"I love Houston,'' she says. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
Download the podcast or listen to it in the handy player on the right.
http://outside.in/Houston/tags/julin
Aside: On a separate note, did you know you could use VLC Media Player (use the wizard) to transcode the streaming file to your hard drive? That way, you can save the m3u file to an audio file you can play when not connected to the Web. GNU/Linux users could use wget to get the files. (get "wget" for Windows). But $12 isn't that much to spend for good music, is it? (sheesh, another plug!)
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Selecting a College Major
Categories: Education, Family, MGuhlin.net
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"I'm totally confused about college," shared my daughter tonight in a conversation. "How do I know what to major in?"
Any suggestions, edubloggers?
In the meantime, check out how youngsters are sharing their writing....
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Monday, October 22, 2007
Happy Birthday to me!
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Yes, folks, October 22nd is my birthday! How did I celebrate? Well, I stayed home and blogged of course! (seriously, I was at home with my sick child...honest!). And, worked on my 850 word version of an article for The School Administrator. Having limits helps one get the most of work....
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Saturday, October 06, 2007
In Memoriam - 1 Year Later
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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In about two hours, it will be midnight in San Antonio, Tx. And, one year ago, my Dad died. I wrote about his dying, his death, and his final moments here. I'm going to share the entry again. It's the first time I've read it since I wrote it on October 6, 2006. It seems like an eternity ago. Since then, I had the good fortune to visit New Zealand, Panama, work on countless projects and deliver some wonderful workshops. Each has helped assuage the grief, one troubled step at a time. There's also been the daily overcoming the grief, of focusing on the present so as to not dwell on the past. Digital storytelling helped play a part in that...you can watch Garbed in Silver (YouTube Version | TeacherTube Version).
My father died at 5:32 PM on Saturday, October 7th. As my mom, wife and I watched, at 5:22 PM his gasps became more shallow, then stopped. His pulse continued for a few minutes, then stopped altogether at 5:32 PM. The official time of death was 5:40 PM.
I miss Dad, I miss his presence, the impact he had on my son. I know that my son misses him, too. Nevertheless, the grief seems a bit apart now. At first, it felt like it lay across a chasm, untouchable, unknowable...something so achingly far away that I would never gain on it, never approach it. But now, I'm not so sure. It doesn't feel like a chasm anymore, a separation to be spanned. Rather, it is a road to be walked. It is a path through tall, dry grass, the heat, the grass, both pressing up against me...a walk not unlike I might have taken when a child walking through the bush, "el monte" of my first home, Panama.
Here's what I wrote so long ago, yet, it seems but yesterday:
In 30 minutes, it will be Saturday. It will be the day my father dies.
I cannot imagine what I will feel or experience at that moment, when he breathes his last. I cannot imagine what life will be without him. When I visited the house today to pick up some things, I sat in his Lazy boy chair. Sobs ran through me as I walked from room to room, seeing everything that reminded me of him, that reminded me he would never touch them again. I saw the toys he'd bought for my son, the movies and books that we both viewed and read, the furniture which I had grown up with as a child for whom death is a distant shore.
I saw the table where the 3 of us--my father, mother and I--had eaten for 27 years, although I was a less frequent visitor for 17 of those years. I saw the place setting where my son would drink his milk and eat his macaroni, the couch he would lay upon and thrust out his hand like an emperor, silently demanding another cup of milk. Obediently, my father would smile and refill the bottle with milk. My son's toothbrush lies upon the table next to the stack of papers my father scribbled his notes on--tasks to complete, people to call, phone numbers, and more.
Yesterday, I thanked the doctors. My father, a sergeant first class, was always tickled that his Army service had earned him unlimited medical care. He was delighted and humbled, too, that colonels, majors, captains, and other officers would lavish such attention and care upon him, a lowly SFC. Yesterday, I felt they understood. One of their own had come home to die, had entrusted himself to their care. And, they, like warriors of old honoring their fallen, cared for him.
In 20 minutes, it will be Saturday. It will be the day James Gordon Guhlin, Sr. dies.
As I walked to my truck, I retraced the steps my dad would take. I remember now how he would follow me out to the car, always with a conversation. I would put his grandson in the car, and the boy would insist that his Papa kiss him and strap him in. I would kiss Dad's cheek, then get in the truck. He would talk me out of the driveway, and many a time, I felt terrible about leaving. His face would have the look of a man who has more to say, but no one to say it to. I was reminded of the hearty greeting he would give me, or wait until we were out in the driveway to speak to me of something serious. I wish for many things, but the tyranny of time, work, family, plain selfishness of living were things that gave me the power to back out of the driveway.
In 10 minutes, it will be Saturday. It will be the day my daddy dies.
As I sat in the truck, the fit of sobs having passed, I felt a sadness on me. A sadness I have wrestled with for a year, ever since his cancer returned. But now, I know that sadness. Tomorrow, it loses it's power over me. At 10:00 AM, my dad begins his journey to a time and place where happiness is unending, where he will be greeted by his brothers and sisters, his parents, all those who have gone before. I know that his arrival on the distant shore will be a joyous one, and that when my time comes, he will be there to greet me. Then, I'll be a wiser man, one who has known the loss of his father, one who will value time spent in the driveway, at travel's start.
I remember him when I was a boy. He always gave me something, a pen, a musical instrument, something. He wooed me, loved me, and when other boys complained about their fathers, I only smiled. I was grateful, my father loved me.
It's now midnight. It is Saturday. Today, the heart of our family dies.
Oh God, was I a good son? Did I make him proud? I can only guess. I can rest in the fact that my son brought him joy in his last years. Oh, I so hope that he smelled his grandson's hair, became his velveteen rabbit.
As I look around at the other children he had, I know my father was proud. I know because I'm proud of my son, because I am a father...I now know that...A father's love is not earned, but he freely gives it to his children. His pride in us flows from that love. I find comfort that he found joy in my son, who was by his side and needed him.
I find rest in God, only He gives me hope. (Psalm 62:5)
It's 10:44 PM. In but a short time, it will be Sunday, the day I celebrate the memories of my father. I pray that our humble prayers, our quiet tears, our unspoken longing for him will find him where he is, nestled in the arms of God. Like a man gasping for breath, I pray.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Modified Jenkins Type A/B
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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(The number line above was made with the Math
Worksheet NumberLine Generator and modified with Skitch)
After reading this entry, I decided to take the test.
First I completed the Jenkins Activity Survey: This survey (JAS) "was developed in an attempt to duplicate the clinical assessment of the Type A behavior pattern by employing an objective psychometric procedure. Individuals displaying a Type A behavior pattern are characterized by extremes of competitiveness, striving for achievement and personal recognition, aggressiveness, haste, impatience, explosiveness and loudness in speech, characteristics which the JAS attempts to measure."
It's been a long time since I took one of these tests...I was a Type B when I began teaching many moons ago. I'm not sure where I rank now, but I scored 210...the only interpretation is this:
Range of scores 35 - 380
Low Scores are Type B
High Scores are Type A
Since I'm terrible in statistics, I need help interpreting that score! Here's another explanation:
Type A personality generally refers to hard workers who are often preoccupied with schedules and the speed of their performance. Type B personalities may be more creative, imaginative, and philosophical. The test consists of 30 multiple-choice items. Scores range from 35 to 380. Type A is associated with a high score while Type B is associated with a low score.
Source: Personality type A/B
Anyways, this test reminded me of those weird personality tests. I decided to poke around and stumbled on bloginality.
I took the very short test and discovered:
As an ISTP, you are Intraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving. This makes your primary focus on Introverted Thinking with Extraverted Sensing. This is defined as a SP personality, which is part of Carl Jung's Artisans (Sensation Seeking) type, and more specifically the Crafters or Mechanics. Because of your desire for action and independance, you will change the format of blogging or design frequently to keep it interesting and different. Your loyalty may have you reading the same blogs over a long period of time. Even though you could be easily bored with blogging, you might find that because you like following a project through, this is a good way for you to use your alone time to sort the facts you pick up through the day.
But let's not stop there...results of the Jung Typology Test
On another personality test--gee, this night is full of introspection--I got these results INFP. Two analyses results, one by Keirsey and another by J. Butt.
What about you?
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Legend Mazda
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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2008 Mazda Tribute from Legend Mazda, San Antonio, Tx
Though the blogosphere is famous for unpopular write-ups on companies that lacked customer service at a reasonable level, I'm not so sure there's write-ups on those that exceed expectations--Legend Mazda is one of the latter. Above, you'll see a snapshot of my wife's new 2008 Mazda Tribute. We were desperate for a new vehicle and drove onto the lot in a rental car (you may recall, my Nissan Frontier had been involved in a rear-end collision with the Texas Department of Public Safety F350 truck (it ran into us!)!)
This past week was tough as we drove around in one small car, accommodating all 4 of us...but one car is tough, especially for folks as busy as my family and I are.
Today, Prancer the Poodle coming along for the ride, we set out to replace our work horse family vehicle, an old Mazda MPV. My wife had her heart set on a Mazda Tribute, but after an unsatisfactory experience at World Car Mazda at Fredericksburg Rd in San Antonio, Tx, I wasn't holding out much hope. We stopped for lunch, then visited Legend Mazda...and ran smack dab into the gentleman below:
(Right click and view image to enlarge)
John Morris (pictured above) did a FANTASTIC job. Car salesmen aren't my favorite people in the world, and coming off the experience with World Car, John was low-pressure, honest "I want to help you get'er done" attitude that couldn't be beat. He worked with us right away to find the Mazda Tribute we were looking for, hustled to talk to the Sales Managers and Directors, and I do not lie at all when I say that my wife and I were shocked at the deal they cut for us. I was reminded of FISH! philosophy as I watched these folks in action...
Be There, Play, Make Their Day and Choose Your Attitude™. FISH! is a wisdom that everyone can embrace. It is an invitation that enables people to care about each other and their commitments. FISH! is an ongoing journey. It is not a fad. It is a practice and a skill that evolves over time creating a positive workplace and a vibrant culture each time it is embraced.
Source: FISH! philosophy
While I won't give the specifics, I can honestly say that after they
told us the deal, we sat there for a minute in shock. When I finally
recovered, I went over to shake Jay Gonzales' hand, he introduced me to
Ed (the guy in charge) and then proceeded to add free this and free that
for a year. He rattled them off so fast I went into shock again.
If you're in the market for a Mazda or a Kia, it's for sure that Legend Mazda will be able to help you. It's for this reason my wife and I have purchased Mazda for our family vehicle every time (two Mazda 626s, two Mazda MPVs over the years). And, for disclosure purposes, I don't get anything out of posting this blog entry except the satisfaction of knowing that if you benefit from dealing with a team of enthusiastic folks like the ones at Legend Mazda at 12115 North IH35, San Antonio, Tx 78233, then cool beans!
Ok...one last look...
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Friday, August 31, 2007
Poodle Paradise
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Above, you can see the beautiful little poodle pup that came home with us today! He is just adorable and we've all fallen in love with his cuteness! When he hops around, he is funny to behold. We have yet to pick a name for him, so if you have suggestions, feel free to leave some in the comments!
In the meantime, here's a picture of the lady who sold us the pup.
She walked us to sidewalk, gave us a few hugs...you could tell it was tough for her to let him go. Of course, she still has this other rascal (chihuahua+poodle mix) to console her:
Finally, if you're interested in puppies (poodles, chihuahuas, or a mix of the two), I encourage you to contact Ms. Estella Henderson at the number below...be sure to put in the 210 area code.
Ok...gotta go take the puppy out for a potty. Let's see...what's the book say?
"Go potty...."
Sigh. ;->
Want to see more photos? Go here...you'll need Flickr access!
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Accident and Poodle Pup
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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"I looked the other way," she said, "and when I looked back, I slammed into you. It's my fault." As my wife and I drove into work yesterday on Interstate 35 headed south, a Ford 350 struck us from behind. Ironically, the driver was a lady in her early sixties with the logo of the Texas Department of Public Safety stamped on the truck doors.
I had just gotten off the phone with one of my team. Sue was going to meet us at my wife's school and get to know my wife and chat about digital storytelling possibilities with her 4th grade. I also had a meeting with the Deputy Supe later that day about a grant, and, of course, my wife had 19 students waiting for her. Not to mention, there was a tea-cup poodle puppy waiting for us to rescue him from the porch he rested on with his sister and a few chihuahua puppies (very tempting, but we went tea-cup poodle).
Of course, all that was put to the side. More important was taking care of my wife's back and neck pain, waiting for a bit for the Texas State Trooper that had been called. My wife and I didn't know it, but when a state vehicle is involved in an accident--even in the city--a Texas State Trooper has to be involved...and getting my truck's front and back bumpers replaced...again. Last time was in June.
The highlight of the day? Walking away from the accident, spending the day together getting things done, including putting a down payment down on the poodle pup. Cute as a button, we're anticipating the arrival of the puppy this weekend (we wanted to give ourselves the weekend to get him settled in, enjoy sleepless nights with a puppy biting our fingers as we tried to sleep). The anticipation is wonderful.
I've been told the following:
- Poodles don't smell like dog, which makes them nice for inside pets.
- Poodles are smarter than other dogs...at least, more empathic than others.
Some of the things I'm looking forward to learning include:
- How to groom a poodle
- What to feed a puppy (I forget this stuff...fortunately, my daughter is a dog expert)
- How to best house-train a puppy
I'm open to ideas or suggestions. I'm sure one of my del.icio.us tags will now include "poodles"
Just a few words why I've not posted anything...I hope you folks are caught up, even amidst school beginning again!
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Friday, July 27, 2007
Ant on a Sneaker
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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The Speed Dating 2.0 experiment crashed and burned and I didn't even see it happen. Unfortunately, I wasn't around to jump up and down and worry about it since I had other concerns with my wife going to the Emergency Room last night. "But, hon," I cried as we climbed into my truck, "I'm working on my wiki."
"Stop making me laugh," she replied, as if I had any control over my sense of humor. Her shortness of breath, tightness in her chest area, cotton-mouth condition punctuated her chuckle. "But hon," I wept, "I'm supposed to facilitate a class tomorrow," as they hooked her up to an EKG, and told her to rest while they took her vitals. Why didn't anyone offer to check MY vitals?
As we sat together at the ER, holding hands, I once again remembered that the best lesson one can learn is to "let it go." When things go bad, as they sometimes do at the most inconvenient of times, the only thing is to let it go and realize you're just along for the ride...like the ant who happened to climb onto a sneaker at the beginning of a jog. You're not sure where you'll end up, you just know it might be a life-changing event...or not.
So, there's no doubt where we spent our night. While she catches up on some sleep, I'm bleary-eyed and half-awake now, with a mad buzzing in my head, ideas trapped, struggling to be blogged about first. There's something to be said for the insistence of ideas that have to find their way out. I had to come home to stay with the kids, and my wife decided to walk out and visit her doctor this morning. So, while it's safe to say, "She's alright" it's not to say that all is well. We're following up on that.
In the meantime, I thought I'd give a more detailed account of what happened with the Speed Dating 2.0 experiment in my school district. In spite of the network techs and the Internet services administrator working on the problem until 7:46 PM last night (San Antonio, Tx time), this morning, my team found itself unable to connect via Skype. Now, don't get me wrong. I admire the work of these professional gatekeepers who know which buttons to push to swing open the gates, but I have to wonder at the selectivity of a system that allows me to access Skype at will (of course, the key in that situation may be that I'm using my own machine, not a district-formatted machine, which might make all the difference) but not a group of teachers going through training, all with their very own Dell laptop with Windows/SMS/Active Directory.
So, even though a group of folks were eagerly hoping to connect to the following folks, nothing happened. Nevertheless, Paul Harington (The Podfather) shared that "sometimes these things happen."
Ah well, I'm just another ant on a sneaker.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Monday, July 23, 2007
Ten Ways to Train Your Brother/Sister
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net, Writing
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A budding new writer shared these with me...I feel obligated to share them with you and hope you pass them on to the appropriate audience in your family.
Ten Ways to Train Your Brother/Sister
by Rosalie
Author's Note: These are very effective in my experience. You also must start at a young age. Around 3 or 4.
1. If your sibling constantly barges into your room, instead of running to mom or dad, calmly explain to the sibling, in little kid speak, not to barge into your room and ask if they would knock on the door.
2. If your sibling doesn't understand this concept, tell them there is an imaginary line they can't cross into your room unless you say so.
3. If you want your sibling to do something, don't tell them to. Ask nicely if they would please do so, and often, little kids respond to well to that.
4.If they won't respond, bribe 'em. It may be crude, but it still works. And they often don't get blackmail, or will use blackmail of their own. Just make sure you don't bribe them with something that could get you in trouble.
5. If your sibling breaks the rules (which they will do, guaranteed.) they might have something of yours. Like a diary or a bad grade that you are currently hiding from your parents until the right moment. If you need to get it back, implement rule 3. If that doesn't work, rule 4. If neither work, try taking one of their things, like a favorite toy. But don't tease. Because they'll go running to mommy and then you're doomed. And if none of those work, tickle it out of them. They'll be laughing so hard, they'll either put it down or tell you where it is.
6. You know how little kids tend to blurt out anything, embarrassing or not, on purpose or not? If you want to stop it, try telling them that certain things shouldn't be told to people outside your family, or to mommy or daddy either. And when you're parents realize what you're doing, they'll probably thank you, because all parents have embarrassing secrets themselves, and little kids have REALLY big ears.
7. When you're sibling begins one of their incessant talking bits, and maybe you want to watch your favorite tv show, instead of screaming at them to be quiet, I honestly suggest to bribe them. Or, tell them that if they will not bother you or just be quiet for however many minutes long, they can tell you whatever is so important.
8. Not everyone has the benefit of more than one tv, and even then, one is often you're parents and the other for you and your siblings. So to lessen the amount of fighting over the remote, try to familiarize your tv shows with your siblings so they like what you watch. But make sure it's not to advanced, or they'll get bored. And be fair, if you have nothing to watch and they want to watch their annoying show, let them. You'll score happy points and they'll be more willing to do what you want.
9. When they want to play a game, play with them for a bit, but make a deal beforehand so that way, you can say if I play with you now, you have to leave me alone later or something along those lines.
10. When you have a little sibling that is really gross, you know, pick their scabs, pick their nose, spit on you, lick you, do it back, bribe them, take a favorite toy, tell your parents(as a last resort). Because I honestly have no specific way that is guaranteed to stop the gross factor. 'Cause their little kids, and they can't be trained to be perfect.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Audiocast: Conversation with Elconix Founders (Espanol)
Categories: AudioBlog, Diversity, Espanol, Family, MGuhlin.net, OpenLearning
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I recently had the opportunity to interview Moises Vega, Jr., one of the founders of Elconix.com, a business focused on developing using PHP/MySQL, as well as other free, open source tools, to develop solutions for businesses in Panama and abroad. Today, I chatted with Moises Vega and Jose Vega--brothers and co-founders--regarding their use of open source.
Although we began in English, I decided to switch to Spanish. I'm pleased that both of them felt more comfortable in sharing some of the issues they encountered as family members starting a business. Below is the Elconix development team:
In the interests of full disclosure, please note that I am related to Moises and Jose, which is what made me aware and granted me access to the interview, however, I do not benefit financially in any way from interviewing them, nor do I have any financial interests with them. In other words, I'm just doing the interview because I find what they do interesting...it's great that they happen to be related! <smile>
Listen
to Interview/Escucha Entrevista
Categories: AudioBlog, Diversity, Espanol, Family, MGuhlin.net, OpenLearning
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Thursday, July 05, 2007
AudioCast: Miguel on Radio Veraguas
Categories: AudioBlog, Diversity, Espanol, Family, MGuhlin.net
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Today, I visited Radio Veraguas in Santiago, Panama. After I interviewed the following two gentlemen, I should have known that radio folks would interview me LIVE on the radio! It was fascinating to watch them move the sliders up and down on the mixer to amplify their voices, especially when mentioning someone's name. Anyways, below is my clumsy recording of the interview the gentlemen below did of me and that ended up LIVE on the radio. I encourage you to donate funds to the Radio Veraguas radio station since their primary mission is education of the people who listen, primarily folks in the interior provinces of the Republic of Panama.
Hoy, me entrevistaron dos senores de Radio Veraguas, un estacion catolica en Santiago de Veraguas, Panama. Yo los habia entrevistado a ellos, y entonces ellos decidieron entrevistarme a mi en vivo en el radio. Que honor! Aqui puedes oir la entrevista. Te pido que des plata a Radio Veraguas porque su trabajo es educacion de sus oyentes.
Listen
to the Interview/ Escucha la entrevista
Categories: AudioBlog, Diversity, Espanol, Family, MGuhlin.net
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Audiocast: Restoring Panama's Teacher College
Categories: AudioBlog, Diversity, Espanol, Family, MGuhlin.net
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Earlier today, I had the chance to visit the teachers' college--known commonly as "La Normal"--from which my mother, a native "Santiaguena" from Panama, graduated from in 1948. It is awesome to walk into an old building that has played such a key role in the lives of so many people in the Republic of Panama. It is even more astonishing to realize that it is because of these efforts that many Panamanians have managed to advance.
Arriba/Above: Jose Fierro Ortiz, Gerente de Proyectos, Aprocosa
The school is being reconstructed, careful attention being given to the idea that the school's original look-n-feel be kept. To get the job done right, Juan Fierro and his firm were called in. Mr. Fierro was kind enough to give my mom and I a tour of the entire school, even though it was closed for renovations! As the person primarily responsible for ensuring the completion of the school, he was able to give us insights into how original constructions were done, folks were brought in from Europe and the U.S. to ensure that the rennovations were accurate to the period the school had originally been constructed in.
He gives a wonderful interview--albeit in Spanish--of the work done on the school. I encourage you to take a look at some of the paintings done in the "aula maxima" or the main auditorium of the school so you can the beautiful artwork of Roberto Lewis, who apparently did the paintings in 1939. All the paintings are being restored as well. Knowing my mom went to school here so many years ago--she grduated in 1948!--makes the story all the more interesting.
Listen to the Interview/Escucha la Entrevisita con Juan Fierro
Find out more about Juan Fierro Ortiz, Project Manager for Aprocosa, online at their web site or contact them below:
Jose Fierro Ortiz
Email: aprocosa@cwpanama.net
507-264-1278
o 507-264-1236
Categories: AudioBlog, Diversity, Espanol, Family, MGuhlin.net
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Bridge of the Americas
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Few sites capture my attention like the Bridge of the Americas. I'm sure it's not the largest bridge, or the longest, yet it is a benchmark, a measuring stick for all future bridges I ever came across afterwards. "Is it as big as the Bridge of the Americas?" is the question I ask...but the one thing I am sure of is that the Bridge is the biggest in my imagination.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Childhood Revisited
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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The street sign above is the street where I grew up from as far back as I can remember to 10 years of age. Madronal, it is a street sign I could always see in my memory but now can see in reality once again. It's been 15 years since I last visited Panama and the trip seems like s much of a dream. I climbed (and fell out of) the tree you see in the photo below, as well as played between the houses. The old shed that would have stood between where I stood to take the picture and the tree is gone now, but memory places it there easily.
My mom and I arrived safely in Panama this past Friday, and we've been taking care of business and visiting family and old friends. It's been a joy to visit places I played at as a child, places that as a result of the U.S. leaving Panama are no longer as well-kept. One such place is the playground below...
That said, I have to confess to being touched at the sight of my childhood home, and what it looks like now. The only constant it seems is the jungle.
Below is the view that I often saw as a 5-10 year old child when I looked up my street...the jungle was ever-present and often, I felt that it called to me:
Heady stuff to walk down the same paths I once trod as a child, to see them one more time...one last time.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Leaving on a jet plane...
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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...and headed for the Republic of Panama! I'll be visiting several places in Panama, and keeping my fingers crossed for Internet access. Some of the places will include Panama City and Santiago.
One of my favorite sites is the Bridge of the Americas...
Anyways, this all means I may be out of touch for awhile. I'll be sending photos in via my mobile phone (if it works over there) to Flickr, so check in there for photos.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Friday, June 22, 2007
Awareness
Categories: Education, Family, MGuhlin.net
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I am often amazed at what children notice. Sometimes, they notice what we, as adults, accept as is. For the over 23 years that my parents owned the grandfather clock, no one ever noticed the error. Every day, people would enter my parents' home and never noticed anything. Even I, as a child and now a grown-up, failed to notice the error.
I pray that "school reform" will be as simple as noticing something that's been there all along, a heightened awareness in our children that enables them to see old things in a new way.
Can you see the error in the photo of my parents' grandfather clock? My third grader noticed it immediately. Of course, he has the benefit of having just studied Roman numerals.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Father's Day
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Like many other fathers in places that celebrate Father's Day--hmm, any country that doesn't?--I was awaked this morning and invited down for my favorite breakfast, and more stuff. Lots of joy and fun in those morning hours.
And yet, I thought I'd take a moment to give homage to my father, who taught me so much, especially, his sense of humor and his patience with helping me become a better writer.
Happy Father's Day!
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Irony of Testing Hits Home
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Panamanian Empanadas
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Img: This empanada has too much stuff on top of it...but you get the general idea.
My mother makes awesome empanadas. If you've never had these, they are wonderful, meat-filled (sorry vegetarians!) food that taste wonderful. ok, I grew up with these. Anyways, if you really want to get on my good side, make these empanadas...you can right-click to view the recipe at a higher resolution.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Dusty Died
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Image:Canned Poison for Your Dog
Don't know if I shared this, but one of my chihuahua's died. Here's why:
“The recall brought to light that the wheat gluten, which was eventually recalled, came from a single Chinese company but ended up in over 100 brands of pet food. ChemNutra Inc., based in Las Vegas, bought 873 tons of gluten from the Chinese company, farmed it out to three pet food makers and one distributor that services the industry. A highly centralized process may be cheap, but ‘at that size and scale if something goes wrong it goes wrong big time,’ says Nestle.”
Source: Time
I'd been off attending workshops, and when I came home one night, the dog was dead. He'd died over by the back fence, and we buried him nearby. It was 7:30 PM. "Honey," my wife began, "I think Dusty is dead." She didn't want to go outside. Death in the dark. It's lonely, scary, and I felt it as soon as I stepped out onto the back porch. Dusty's sister, Sandy, whined at me. Somehow, she wasn't sick. I turned on the flash light and walked around the backyard. He hadn't been in his crate, where we would usually find him at night. I knew he was gone.
This happened a day or two before I left for New Zealand. We had no idea that Alpo canned dog food was to blame. We'd catch the news in the morning mostly for the weather. I didn't know about renal failure until a colleague who watches the news told me about it. Somehow, i'd missed the signs. He hadn't shown much interest in his food for a day or two, my daughter said. I checked him out. His eyes were clear. Hey, I'm not vet. I should have taken him in. But even then, it wouldn't have made a difference.
He had fallen near the back fence. It was dark now. I went back inside. "Yeah, he's dead." Tears welled up in her eyes. I buried him, clutching the flashlight in my hand as I dug with the shovel. Finally, my wife came outside. She held the light for me. Dusty had been the runt, and always received her special attention. But not this day. We felt guilty. . .working late. The kids . . .they would have to be told.
We didn't know it was Alpo until later that week. When in New Zealand, my wife called me. "They just announced it on the News. The brand of dog food we have is what killed him. We killed him." Dusty had a bad habit of gorging himself.
It's been two weeks. Everytime I remind my daughter, "It's time to feed the---" I stop and sigh. It's not "dogs" anymore. It's time to feed THE DOG. It's time to feed Dusty's sister, Sandy. "He'd spin around in circles when I waved my hand," my wife will sometimes say as I look out the back window. When I went outside yesterday, Sandy ran over and whimpered. As I pet her, there was no Dusty waiting for his turn. Just a stone and two crossed beams over his grave.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Youtubing Memory
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Following Dean Shareski's suggestions in this video clip published via YouTube, I took a moment to "youtube some memories," in particular, Garbed in Silver.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Happy Birthday, Dad!
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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On October 7, 2007, my dad, James G. Guhlin, died of lung cancer. It was a death we all knew was coming, but still caught us by surprise. When someone is so full of life, so full of humor and vigor, even at 79 years of age, you doubt that death will really take them. At least, I did. I was unaware of the doubt in me until I saw his last breath leave him...literally. Ironically, I find comfort in that final image, that he really DID die, but the truth is so bare, so powerful unmasked.
The literal truth is one, as a writer, that I'd rather not deal with. Figuratively speaking is a lot easier. But Dad, both as my father and grandfather to my son in his last years, was literally there for us. I saw him set aside his illness, the petty selfishness that is a part of each human being, and sacrifice it in favor of spending time with my son. When I entrusted my son to his care, I felt I was gifting Dad. In truth, my Dad was giving me something. In every word, his every act of kindness, my son reminds me of my father in ways that I thought forgotten, or worse, lost in death.
Dad died in October, and we marched on. Today, on Sunday, February 18, 2007, I'm going to take a moment of silence and leave his image here. . .in remembrance. Sitting alone in the home office at ten minutes after midnight, I'd like to imagine that he's still there, a phone call away...and that in a few hours, I'll pick up the phone and say, as I have done for as long as I've been able to every February 18th in my life,
"Happy 80th Birthday, Dad!"
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Salty Characters
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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One of my favorite stories (Genesis 19) in the Bible--sad as it may seem--is that of Lot and his wife as they flee Sodom and Gomorrah. The angels counsel Lot:
...out of the Lord's pity for him, and they took him out and placed him outside the city. And it came to pass, when they took them outside, that he said, "Flee for your life, do not look behind you, and do not stand in the entire plain. Flee to the mountain, lest you perish."
But then, as they made their escape, Lot's wife did what she had been told not to do...
And his wife looked from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.
Without pondering the plight of Lot any further (too racy for my tastes), the lesson I took away from Lot's wife was that of always continuing to move forward, not looking back at your past. If a catastrophe befalls where you've been, God puts you on a path to salvation, then you're expected to keep moving forward.
When I read Ms. Cornelius' entry about the troubles she's having, especially since my father just died, I couldn't help but think of Lot's wife.
Just a year ago, my dad called and told me that he had cancer. The word "terminal" never really made it out of his mouth, but when your tough-guy daddy starts talking about how he's had a long life and so on, you get the drift. Actually, I knew it was bad when he actually placed the phone call himself, since my father never did that for probably the same strange reason he would never actually operate a microwave. Six weeks later, he slipped away. Now since then, we have muddled through every succeeding day. Many of you have helped me more than I can express with words of support and sympathy, and, unfortuntely, in some cases, personal experience of your own.
It is so hard to keep moving forward, but, if I weren't moving forward, I can't imagine how I would deal with the grief. Just when I think I'm getting ahead of the wave of despair, "muddling through" as Ms. C puts it, it catches up. I have to consciously focus on NOT dwelling on the recent past--his death--but rather, his life.
I wonder whether the reason these things happen in our youth is because if they were to happen in old age, we would be more easily crushed by the grief...instead, we are broken. I'm not sure. Better broken than crushed, but better crushed than being made into a pillar of salt. What does it mean to be a pillar of salt?
Maybe this is the wrong lesson. Maybe, I'm making the wrong connection between Lot's wife and moving on after someone dies. So, I'm open to suggestions as to a better way to consider this.
In the meantime, the image below is one I will keep in mind as I move forward, trying oh so hard, not to look back.
By the way, Dad was only in Korea. The Veteran's Administration goofed on the headstone. <long sigh>. Either that or Dad fought in WW2, Korea and Vietnam and didn't tell anyone about anything except Korea. Ha! So, have to get that fixed.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Canal Zone Police
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Earlier, I shared that my Dad had been a police officer in the Panama Canal Zone. Anyways, when my Dad died I became aware of this whole network of folks keeping memories alive. I'm shocked that Dad never connected, or rather, that he'd been disconnected from all the wonderful folks. But, a part of me can understand that. Although my Dad had the vision to provide technology for me, he didn't use it himself.
You can find old photographs and a web site on the Canal Zone police. It's worth a peek just to get a glimpse at a world that I'd bet many have no clue about. A few words from Fred Robinson from the CZ Police...
My goal is to have an album, with pictures, covering each work station of the Canal Zone Police, including the bush patrol, license sections, etc. As a police officer I spent most of my time on beat patrol and traffic patrol. I was promoted to Sergeant and then to Lieutenant; the rank I held when I transferred to the US Customs Service in 1979. I left the Canal Zone 3 days prior to October 1st when the first effects of the Treaty with Panama were to take place. A scant three years later on March 31st 1982, after 78 years of service, the Canal Zone Police ceased to exist! Thank you for visiting this Canal Zone Police web page; I hope you find it enjoyable looking back over the reign of the Canal Zone Finest. 1904 until 1982
I wish all these pictures could be dropped into Flickr and made available there...it's incredible how many there are!
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Panama Canal Zone Police
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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It's hard to believe it's been a little over a month since Dad died. I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call, or drop by the house and see what's going on. It's tough to keep on going, but I've come to the realization that staying busy living is critical. Everytime I drop by the house to pack something up or move it, I'm reminded of Dad.
One of those reminders comes in the form of emails from my Dad's work buddies. My Dad served in the Panama Canal Zone Police and this photo reminds me of another time, another world that I had the good fortune to live in. It is good memories like that which remind you to make the best of what you have NOW because it will never come again.
Dad is the officer with the mustache sandwiched in between everyone, under the "Z" of "Zone":
Looking at these police officers now, they're the size of ordinary men (or more <smile>). Thinking back to my childhood, I remember them as giants in blue, wearing pistols and laughing/joking about things that were the stuff of adventure. It helps me appreciate what my seven year old is going through...when he grows up, I hope he remembers good-natured giants who stood between him and harm's way.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving!
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Well, things have slowed down for Thanksgiving...
- Setting up Xmas lights (first on the block, woohoo!)
- Cleaning the house (sheesh, yard work is no fun)
- Washing dishes (no, I don't cook except under strict supervision)
- Cleaning/Organizing the home office
- Weeding the book and video collection for my annual winter trip to Half Price Books
- Working on my open source article for Tech & Learning (yes, I'm getting paid for that one if it makes the cut)
- Moving close family (not mine) from house to apartment
- Taking care of a baby niece
- Visiting Barnes and Nobles to finally use that gift card I received back in October
- Working on thank you notes for well-wishers
- Catching up on Star Trek (with kirk and spock) marathon
- Catching up on The 70s Show (how inappropriate!) as a way to find out what I missed when living in Panama during the 70s
- Picking out the books I'm going to be reading for the next few months
- Watching Clint Eastwood videos--The Outlaw Josie Wales, Fistful of Dollar, For a Few Dollars More, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
- Reimaging the laptop and loading Xubuntu Edgy (very nice when you start from scratch).
- Finding some more TechTips content for the column and podcast
Wow...when's work starting up again? I need a break from all this fun.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Sunday, November 05, 2006
maternal grandparents
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Meet my maternal grandparents...this is the first and only picture of them I have ever seen.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Grace Sufficient
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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It's been a long two weeks, and the week isn't over yet. However, I'd like to take a moment and thank all of you for your prayers and support during this tough time. Without your support, as well as that of family, especially my newfound brothers and sister from Dad's first marriage, it would have been a more difficult two weeks.
Today was Dad's burial. Going to his house doesn't hurt as much, but I'm sure the memories will flow in once the work of cleaning house begins. As family filled the house today, from young baby Grace (a great grandchild of Dad's) to Uncle Chal, Dad's oldest living brother (89), I couldn't help but wish Dad had lived to see the day. . .lived to see his first family and his second family together, happy and enjoying each other's presence. As I stood in the driveway to say goodbye to different people I had only seen maybe once in my life, if at all, I felt Dad there, perched at my shoulder, talking so much that the person departing found it hard to leave. I did it for awhile, but then decided that black guayabera and dark clothes in 90 degree sun just wasn't too bright.
As my "new" sister and I sat in the limo at the funeral today, she asked if I had any questions for her. The question that had come to mind yesterday was a simple one, one of those that slips into your mind with startling clarity, like the tone of a bell during the silence of early morning.
It's great to have a sister, but what does it take to be a brother?
Over the last week and a half, I've enjoyed the benefit of a support network. But what will it take for me to become an active part of that network? How will I step up to the challenge of being a brother to a family that outnumbers me in sheer size? Her response was deceptively simple, but the right one.
"Just be yourself."
Later this afternoon, as I walked among the temporary markers where Dad was buried at the Army Cemetery, I felt nothing. Maybe I'm numb, tired, or, convinced that Dad just isn't to be found in the ground. *Dad* is gone. I felt his presence more when I chatted with my brothers and sister, their children, and spouses, with my mom, than when I stood near the mound of dirt that lay atop his coffin. In 60 days, his grave will have a marble headstone. I have no doubt that I will continue to grieve every day, but also, I know that I carry Dad with me...and that if I wish, the family he grew in his younger years is there, waiting to see what my actions will be. Will I build on the foundation built upon Dad's death, or will it be in vain? I can only hope for grace sufficient.
In the meantime, one of my favorite poems appears below. I've shared it before, but thought I'd do so again.
God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through.
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the laborer, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing sympathy, undying love.
Thanks again for your support! Don't doubt that your comments and emails were helpful.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
In Remembrance
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Dear Dad,
You have walked paths I shall never trod
seen sights I shall never
behold,
experienced that which will never be again
For such is
life, a legacy of unknowns.
You have seen a thousand stars fall
from high in the sky to the
valleys below
You took into your care one little star
born early
and premature
For such is life, a legacy of love
You have cried over loves long lost
You have witnessed the misery of
a people
And lent your hands to their rebuilding.
Through it all,
you built yourself with
uncried tears and sweat
For such is life,
a legacy of sorrows.
Now, you stand on Father's Day, as you have before,
a man of legacy
who walks paths unknown. You have
shared all you are with your son,
and left one legacy undone--
Life.
I, your son, will leave my legacies unknown
And, hope, someday, to
leave one legacy
undone, following in your example.
I hope that
legacy may be made from
experiences of all you have shown me in your
Love,
in your Sorrows, in your Life's unknowns
For such is your legacy,
Your Life Passed On.
1927-2006
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Obituary
Categories: Family
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These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Monday, October 09, 2006
Funeral Arrangements
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Funeral Arrangements for James G. Guhlin, Sr. are as follows:
Date: Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Event #1: Viewing (closed
casket/photo slideshow) and Consult with Family
Time: 5:00 PM -
7:00 PM
Location: Porter Loring North; 2102 North Loop 1604 East @
Gold Canyon Drive (210-495-8221).
Map and directions available online.
Event #2: Rosary
Time: 7:00-8:00 PM
Date: October 11, 2006
Event: Burial
Time:
9:00-10:00 AM
Location: Fort Sam Houston Cemetery
1520 Harry
Wurzbach Road
San Antonio, TX 78209
(210) 820-3891
Map and directions available online.
FLOWERS & DONATIONS
Although flowers are certainly
welcome, due to the cause of death (lung cancer), a donation to Cancer
Therapy and Research Center (CTRC) is suggested by the widow, Adalgisa
Guhlin. Inquiries should be directed to Porter Loring - North Funeral
Home's Tres Hewell or any of the directors there at 210-495-8221 or
http://porterloring.com
Photos of James G. Guhlin Sr can be found online at:
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Born of God
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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My father died at 5:32 PM on Saturday, October 7th. As my mom, wife and I watched, at 5:22 PM his gasps became more shallow, then stopped. His pulse continued for a few minutes, then stopped altogether at 5:32 PM. The official time of death was 5:40 PM.
Psalm 91:
"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
Goodbye, Dad. May you find the love in God that you so often shared with us.
Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Friday, October 06, 2006
In 30 minutes
Categories: Family
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In 30 minutes, it will be Saturday. It will be the day my father dies.
I cannot imagine what I will feel or experience at that moment, when he breathes his last. I cannot imagine what life will be without him. When I visited the house today to pick up some things, I sat in his Lazy boy chair. Sobs ran through me as I walked from room to room, seeing everything that reminded me of him, that reminded me he would never touch them again. I saw the toys he'd bought for my son, the movies and books that we both viewed and read, the furniture which I had grown up with as a child for whom death is a distant shore.
I saw the table where the 3 of us--my father, mother and I--had eaten for 27 years, although I was a less frequent visitor for 17 of those years. I saw the place setting where my son would drink his milk and eat his macaroni, the couch he would lay upon and thrust out his hand like an emperor, silently demanding another cup of milk. Obediently, my father would smile and refill the bottle with milk. My son's toothbrush lies upon the table next to the stack of papers my father scribbled his notes on--tasks to complete, people to call, phone numbers, and more.
Yesterday, I thanked the doctors. My father, a sergeant first class, was always tickled that his Army service had earned him unlimited medical care. He was delighted and humbled, too, that colonels, majors, captains, and other officers would lavish such attention and care upon him, a lowly SFC. Yesterday, I felt they understood. One of their own had come home to die, had entrusted himself to their care. And, they, like warriors of old honoring their fallen, cared for him.
In 20 minutes, it will be Saturday. It will be the day James Gordon Guhlin, Sr. dies.
As I walked to my truck, I retraced the steps my dad would take. I remember now how he would follow me out to the car, always with a conversation. I would put his grandson in the car, and the boy would insist that his Papa kiss him and strap him in. I would kiss Dad's cheek, then get in the truck. He would talk me out of the driveway, and many a time, I felt terrible about leaving. His face would have the look of a man who has more to say, but no one to say it to. I was reminded of the hearty greeting he would give me, or wait until we were out in the driveway to speak to me of something serious. I wish for many things, but the tyranny of time, work, family, plain selfishness of living were things that gave me the power to back out of the driveway.
In 10 minutes, it will be Saturday. It will be the day my daddy dies.
As I sat in the truck, the fit of sobs having passed, I felt a sadness on me. A sadness I have wrestled with for a year, ever since his cancer returned. But now, I know that sadness. Tomorrow, it loses it's power over me. At 10:00 AM, my dad begins his journey to a time and place where happiness is unending, where he will be greeted by his brothers and sisters, his parents, all those who have gone before. I know that his arrival on the distant shore will be a joyous one, and that when my time comes, he will be there to greet me. Then, I'll be a wiser man, one who has known the loss of his father, one who will value time spent in the driveway, at travel's start.
I remember him when I was a boy. He always gave me something, a pen, a musical instrument, something. He wooed me, loved me, and when other boys complained about their fathers, I only smiled. I was grateful, my father loved me.
It's now midnight. It is Saturday. Today, the heart of our family dies.
Oh God, was I a good son? Did I make him proud? I can only guess. I can rest in the fact that my son brought him joy in his last years. Oh, I so hope that he smelled his grandson's hair, became his velveteen rabbit.
As I look around at the other children he had, I know my father was proud. I know because I'm proud of my son, because I am a father...I now know that...A father's love is not earned, but he freely gives it to his children. His pride in us flows from that love. I find comfort that he found joy in my son, who was by his side and needed him.
I find rest in God, only He gives me hope. (Psalm 62:5)
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Thursday, October 05, 2006
End
Categories: Family
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(Photo taken of Dad and grandson Saturday afternoon before the Sunday when he would pass out at the hospital...he was already coughing blood every day for 2 weeks in this photo).
Today was another day. In the middle of the night, word came that Dad had suffered a stroke, knocking out his ability to communicate, his fine motor skills, and other functions. As such, after reviewing the results of the midnight CAT scan, the team of doctors called us all into a meeting. It was a meeting that we thought we'd be having next week, but we'd rather not have had the conversation at all.
The lead doctor shared that he had reviewed the Directive to Physicians yet again, and after explaining everything we knew about Dad's condition, he asked, "When do you want us to activate his decision?"
What he meant was, when would you like him taken off life support?
This morning before this meeting we all took turns sobbing in our respective corners, watching Dad for some sign of change, some spark of the humor and life that had so characterized his interactions with us and others. The nurse shone a penlight into his eyes, checking for reaction. Nothing.
After chatting, we decided that the day and hour that Dad's decision to not be put on life support (like the respirator that regularly pumps oxygen into his lungs) would be Saturday, October 7th at 10:00 AM. From that point on, Dad would be left to breathe without life support as he desired and expressed in his Directive to Physicians. We felt, as a family, that Dad would certainly have suffered a little bit longer to give his family time to say goodbye.
As I worked on funeral arrangements, had these conversations with doctors about my father's demise, I felt a sense of unreality, a surrealness that throws me. When I went to my Mom and Dad's house today with Mom to pick up a few things, everywhere I looked I saw him. It was clear he had left on that Sunday morning to the ER with the intent of coming back. I called a friend but emotions overwhelmed me. I vowed to call him later.
We have cousins flying in from Panama, family from Houston area, and friends from all over coming in...tonight, as we headed upstairs to sit with him as the respirator breathed for him, to watch his slack-jawed expression--which reminded Mom and I of how he looked when he slept in his recliner <smile> if we imagined him without the tubes--to caress his brow, hold his fluid-swollen hands, to tuck in the sheets around his feet to keep him warm, to pray that he wake, one last time, to hear his voice and hear him crack a joke or laugh...we ran into some of his Bingo buddies.
Apparently, Dad had quite a group that he joked with. Last Friday, Dad played his last few games of Bingo, all the meanwhile joking with the other retired veterans. One of them, a Sergeant First Class (E7) who joined the Army when Dad did also, sat in his own wheelchair outside Dad's room. "You dad is the best," he said. "I talked to him and said 'Hello!' and he moved his arm." Unfortunately, his arm was just moving, a random firing of his brain rather than directed movement. He proceeded to tell me about Dad at Bingo, how he always helped everybody, helped him in particular with his walker and wheelchair.
Tomorrow, my dad's 90 year old brother will visit from Houston. He is the last survivor of the original family that arrived from Sweden. It will be another long day at the Hospital, watching Dad's chest rise and fall. Soon, it will be over, Dad...but we'll remember you.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Down turn
Categories: Family, MGuhlin.net
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Well, long day. Things are taking a turn for the worse. Let's see....
- No stint is available that will fit the tumor, so that has to be abandoned.
- The "good" lung has fluid in it. It's not pneumonia but the fluid resulting from the medication that knocked him out for the procedure.
- Dad's heart did suffer damage (heart attack) on Sunday.
- It's difficult to treat the results of the heart attack from Sunday, as well as possible blood clots that may arise, because blood thinning drugs can't be used (they'll allow bleeding elsewhere in the lungs).
- Loss of control of left leg and arm, even though movement is possible. So, possibility of a mild stroke, but this could also be due to residual effect of sedatives. CAT scan of the head is taking forever.
- Lungs are deteriorating
- 2 week critical care window is almost half over. If something doesn't change by Saturday or Sunday, then long term care on a respirator--which Dad prohibited--has to be denied. This occurs after two doctors declare that he is "terminal."
On the other hand, there are powerful positives....
- Closer relationship with a few of the lost siblings from Dad's first marriage
- Re-establishing relationships with relatives from Panama
- Being the conduit for information in the family has helped me deal with my grief.
My son and daughter went to see Grandpa today at the hospital. My wife, mother and I argued (too strong a word, perhaps) about this all week. Should they go or not and see him in his current condition (e.g. tube in the mouth, completely out of it, etc)?
I began with the point of view that they needed to go, to answer the call to see their Papaw one last time and say goodbye. It was the same motivation that drove me to share with my dad, and made me want my siblings from dad's first marriage to come and see him one last time. Several people told us that NOT letting them say goodbye--no matter that grandpa had tubes in his mouth, IVs everywhere--would be a big mistake...and then they cited their own experiences to prove it.
My wife argued for and my mother argued against. This would be too traumatic. Of course, by today, everyone had flipped-flopped on their position. Fortunately, after prepping them for what they would see--I detailed everything they would see, mentioned how they might feel, but how important it was that they share their love for Grandpa aloud so he could hear them, and that we believe that we would see him again in Heaven--they went in to see him.
He was oblivious to them, however, I shelter the hope that somehow, he'll know they were there. They brought cards. The younger one's card said his name and "Papa." After that, it read, "We are buddies."
When they left with my wife--I stayed behind--my wife told me that in the car, the youngest's eyes reddened, and when my wife asked, "What are you thinking of?," his response was, "I was thinking of the happy times with Grandpa."
Both children expressed their gratitude at being allowed to see Grandpa one last time. When they got home, they said they wanted to attend the funeral...to see him off to Heaven. So, while we are hopeful, we are moving into the end of the first week, and into the second.
Some BINGO friends of mom and dad came over today. One man, Bill Fleming, limped along with a cane. His walk, my father liked to tease him, was like that of Gunsmoke's Festus. When I brought that up, Bill began to laugh. "Yeah, Jim is a jokester. He was always teasing me about that." Bill walked up to my dad, his mouth hanging open because of the tube and sedation, and gave him a speech. It made me appreciate Bill's lack of fear of death...
more later. thank you for your prayers.
These writings do not reflect my employer's views, only my own. Furthermore, any resemblance to events or individuals/groups in my school district is purely coincidental, an accident of interpretation. Questions? Leave a comment or email me at "mguhlin@gmail.com".
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